Money, the bane of my exisitence.

Let me preface with saying that I know I can budget. I know that my family's income is far less than the expenses we incur every month. Mostly, these expenses are not necessities but rather things we buy just because we want to. And this is becoming a big problem.

I am so sick and tired of not having any money. My husband goes and works at a job he hates (well mostly a company he hates) and every time we get his pay check it's long since spent before we even get to thinking about having anything extra. But we spend anyway and get those extras. And honestly at this point because I have forgone sticking to a budget like, oh let's say the day after we write up our budget, we are always in the rears now. It feels like there is no catching up.

Now here's my real gripe. I have several times in the last couple years offered to get a part time job. I would work at night because I stay at home and take care of our two little boys all day long. My husband always says, "no way." And here's his stance. He thinks I am already tired and stressed out enough as it is being a stay at home mom and working from home with my own business while trying to launch a new more in depth business than I've ever launched on my own. And when I'm tired and stressed out the whole world better watch out because I'm not going to lie, I am a stark raving mad bitch. I just lose it, especially if we throw hunger into the mix. Oh hell, you better just duck and cover people. Duck and cover. Also, he wonders when we will ever get to see each other. And not only will my new levels of tiredness and bitchiness create strain on our relationship but then not seeing each other will just make him crazy. I am okay with it and not because I don't love spending time with my husband but because I know I will just appreciate every second together even more.

So, how can I convince him to let me get a job so we can get out of this money hole and be able to enjoy our lives again? I have even told him it would be temporary but he says, "If it is only temporary then we will just be right back where we started if not worse so what's the point?" And yes, he does have valid points. All of his reasons as to why me getting a part time evening job are a bad idea make complete sense. However, I still disagree. I believe that for my own peace of mind and knowing that I am working to get us to a better financial state that I won't feel like his hard work every week won't seem so... well pointless. I mean, he works and works and for what? To continue to not have money? No thank you.  I suppose I believe that I would rather have more money and get a little ahead, if only for a while, than to get farther in the shit and have "happy relationships". Because to tell you the truth there is no happiness when the shit piles so high.